:: GUILT ::

I feel guilty for doing many bad things, even when I know that I shouldn't be doing it. But it's hard not to slip and fall sometimes, especially when the emotions and stress that build up in you tend to let go. However, I know I ought to try even harder to make the right decisions, especially when Jesus has already died for my sins.

Anyway, as I mentioned in my earlier blog, art school is tough. I feel that my social life's dwindling. But thank God that I managed to meet Eveline on Friday night. It felt good to meet up with my close friend of 7 years. I haven't been communicating much with anybody, and sometimes I feel like exploding. I just need to talk to someone, but it's hard to find any available person who's willing to hear me out. I feel that I'm starting to go downhill again, just like last time. Everything's gonna try to separate me from my family, friends and church. I just pray that I won't succumb to Satan's yoke.

I try to remind myself all the time, I'm where I am now because of God. And I'd do everything in the glory of God. That fact really hit me when I was reading my Daily Devotional guide yesterday. The narrator talked about his cousin, who's an artist (uncanny how God chooses to relate and connect to me). Apparently the narrator's cousin painted a picture of Jesus as he appeared to his disciples after the Resurrection. That painting was wonderful, everyone who saw the painting was moved. But apparently the narrator's cousin decided to redo some parts, and everyone was shocked, they didn't want her to, thinking that it'll only do the painting harm. But it turns out that the re-painting made it even more real.

As said in the Daily Devotional Guide,
" Something similar can happen with us as we allow God to "redo" us. In the hands of God, Christians are not transformed from wretched to miserable and then from miserable to not-too-bad. Instead, each of us is being transformed "from glory to glory". Glory is not reserved for us in heaven; God gives us glory here and today."

As miraculous as it sounds, I literally felt touched by God's word. I'm urging myself to work hard for God, and not do things for self-centered reasons. Because I know that God will honor those who honor Him. Although I know I'm still that easily swayed by laziness and stress, I just make sure that I repeat those two words in my head, "Honor God".

Prayer Focus (From Daily Devotional Guide): Artists