Guinea

I'm crying now as I type. Today, my 3 pets were given away (2 guinea pigs & a hamster). I know I haven't really been taking care of them, and I even gave my consent to my dad for them to be given away. But he made a mistake by not telling me when.

I was out with Madeline today, watching King Kong. And the moment I got back home, my dad decided to break the news. I know its better that I live without my pets (or ex-pets I should say), as I'm terribly allergic to them. One slight caress and I'll sneeze non-stop. But I think its really insensitive for him not to tell me that they were going away today.

I can't help but to think back of the time I got my first white albino guinea. I was with my mother. After a trip to KK for a checkup, my mother happened to be in a rather good mood, as for once her daughter was out with her (I could feel that happiness). We walked past a pet shop in Novena Square, and there he was, the cute furry albino. He had his brother with him then, but we decided only on one guinea pig. That guinea pig represented the love and happiness that my mother had for me. She called him 'Bobby', and I really don't know why. But still, those memories are enough to make me tear right now. I was so enthusiastic about having a bigger pet for once. I gave him my constant love and affection, and I even sought for another companion after a few weeks of loneliness he suffered from.

The second guinea pig - I named him 'Skunk' (as he looked like one with a white stripe down his head). I got him in the first place to keep my albino company. Initially, I thought Skunk was a female. I wanted a girl for my boy (to breed them too), and asked the shopkeeper if that guinea pig I chose was one. I had no prior knowledge of pigs so the shopkeeper confirmed that it was a she. But much to my dismay one (un)fortunate day while I was bathing 'her', I realized that the genitals of both guinea pigs were pretty much the same. It was too late for that change. I, in no doubt had turned them gay.

Amidst the many fun times we had, it is unfortunate that my body has decided to be allergic to them. During my first sem at NTU, I used my guinea pigs and hamster as part of my art projects. They were indeed a hit with my classmates. But now that they're gone, I don't know if I could ever find the inspiration for my art subjects.

In fact, I'm slightly attached to my hamster as he was the only offspring that I have managed to keep alive successfully from my previous married hamsters.

I really feel for them. I hate myself for not taking proper care of them. I don't know how my mother would react to this, as she doesn't know that they're gone. Apart from the monetary contributions that my mother gave, it was my sole responsibility to keep my albino happy, but now that it's gone. I just feel ashamed and a sense of dread and loss. I feel really remorseful. I feel bad. I feel terrible. Really.

In loving memory of: