The Loneliness

I admit that I've been putting myself down time and time again. And it's always about the same pathetic reason - loneliness. From the beginning (of when I don't know), I've felt isolated even when I'm around people, even when they were close to me. The fact that I wasn't able to connect on a deeper level with anyone made me really cynical about everything.

I still seek solace in books, because fictional characters narrate my ideal life. They always turn out to be heroes, the underdogs, the winners even when situations look so dire. But also, I can find help by talking to my unseen God, and I seeked His help just last night. But I still feel the need to find a human being to be my perfect best friend. But alas, perfection does not exist in humanity. Humans are fickle, and sometimes cruel even without the intention of being that way.

But as time whizzes, isolation to me, becomes a gift. It is a paradox, isolation can do you good, and do you bad. Isolation just has a knack for getting to you either way. It's always the either 'this' or 'that' rule when it comes to life. The opposite poles of the magnet. But both provide this feeling of sublime just as much.

I know I'll grow up alone, being an independant person when it comes to surviving life, but withering deep down inside.